Dear Sunny,

We are getting down to the wire, pretty soon we’ll go from a family of 3 to a family of 4. It’s amazing that in just under a year, a decision Daddy and I made to expand our hearts will soon heavily affect you.

The rest of your life when someone asks you how many brothers and/or sisters you have, you will answer 1. You’ll say his/her name and that one name, that one single person, will have been with you your entire life. S/he will share your childhood, get into trouble with you, take the fall for you, blame you, hit you, love you, hurt you, rescue you.

I remember when Uncle Chris and I became friends. I was in college and he was in high school and it took that long for me to get just how cool he actually was/is.  And now, we live a mile apart and we see him every weekend, and he got married to the most wonderful man ( who sometimes I favor) and they’re  a huge part of your life, and I am so grateful, and if they ever leave the Garden State we will chase them with pitch forks, hunt them down, and force them into a small cage in our basement. Now if that’s not love I don’t know what is.

But for now, when your sibling comes home, you will wonder why we tried to improve upon the perfection that is you.

I can relate. The day Christopher came home from the hospital I can remember eating cheetos, starring down at my Mommy and thinking- that’s it? This is what you’ve been so excited for? In my defense he was wrinkly and smelly. And while I was busy being horrible to him, he adored me. He followed me around, laughed at my silly jokes,  played with my friends, and… I was awful to him. But at night when I would get scarred I’d make my way to his bedroom and sleep in his bed till morning. And when he moved to NY and  lived in Williamsburg, I found myself hiding in his bed again- this time watching bad reality tv and eatting chinesse food until he (not me) had plans to go out.

Anyway, here’s what you need to know for now. We didn’t get a new baby because we thought you weren’t enough- in fact you’re more than enough. You are beautiful and funny and smart and chatty. You are silly and cute and horrible sometimes. You are fast and steady, warm and loving. In short you are more than we could have ever hoped for. In fact you are so amazing that we wanted more of  you and for you. We wanted another chance to feel all of this love again. We wanted to improve upon our view of the world and expand yours as well. We wanted another precious spirit who will teach us all to be more of ourselves.  You are a little piece of wonderful, a tiny piece of heaven and so is your sibling.

You’ll have to trust me, for a little while, it’s going to be ugly around here. You’re going to hate all of us and act out in ways that I can only imagine…or so I’m told. But here’s what’s great,  you will learn to let go of selfishness and let in love because of this new little baby. Ask anyone whose ever gotten a sibling, it’s the greatest gift you ever will be given even if it’s the hardest gift to accept.

One day you’ll thank us….it won’t be 6 weeks from now, but maybe 16 years from now….just trust me.

Love, Mama

 

 

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