Dear Sunshine,
I love every little and big thing about you, I love you with my entire heart and with the force of almighty God. I thank you because you made me a Mommy and honestly kid, that’s all I’ve ever wanted to be. I don’t know what happens next Sunny. I’ve never thought to picture you as a 1 year old or two year old for that matter; having you has given me the priceless gift of living for the moment and future thoughts can not exist in this moment right here.
I would like for you to know that you are the most special creation on this Earth. You are wise and meaningful, brilliant and strong, perfect in every single way. I could never have imagined loving you the way that I do, but I promise you Sunshine I have never loved like this. How amazing is our Lord that he paired the two of us together. Your spirit glimmers and shines with the intensity of heaven; you smell like angle dust. I am so grateful, my girl, to be your Mother. Every moment I have spent with you has been my favorite moment. I welcome the next year Sunshine, and the 100 years after that. I wish for you all of the happiness that one life can hold.
You are what stars and clouds are made of, an unexplainable light shines around you. I love you with my whole heart and give thanks for you today and every day after. This life is so incredible Sunshine and this world is so big, it can hold you and Daddy, and me and all of our love in it and still we are able to create more. I remember this day last year, it was just you and me in the middle of the night. I nursed you and then cuddled you in that small hospital bed. You had been outside of me for hours and hours, but there was this moment where I felt my heart drop to my knees. It was an awakening of sorts, and I knew I was in trouble. How could something so small and unexpected have such impeccable timing?
Last night when I kissed you goodnight, I did my best to say goodbye to you as my baby, but you’ll forgive me because its so hard. Nothing else in this life seems to age as rapidly as your child, in truth I don’t keep count of anything like I do you. I will never get over loosing you as my tiny baby, but I welcome you as my toddler. New babies are coming into our world soon, and it will be their time to be cuddled and studied by their Mommies. All you have to do my baby, is grow and thrive, and spread your light. It’s a big job but it’s part of growing up, don’t worry I will be beside you every step of the way.
I am told that this will continue to happen. You will grow by leaps and bounds and I will probably cry every year that passes. We have a good thing going here, so don’t be in too much of a hurry to grow up okay? If you can close your eyes from time to time, try and remember life just as it is in this moment. Listen to your Dad when he teaches you how to be happy and its okay is sometimes when you get hurt you let him give you little cuddles instead of me.
As you grow up I will from time to time steal sniffs of your head (that’s totally normal by the way). Just today you said to me, “Mama!” and then you climbed up my leg, when I picked you up you hugged me rested your head on my shoulder and then looked straight into my eyes and gave me a kiss right on the lips. Greatest. Moment. Ever.
Oh Sunny, how my heart beats for you.
Happy Birthday my gorgeous baby girl you are my Sunshine, my one and only Sunshine girl.
Mommy
