I love both of my children equally. It should be said that for as much as I adore these little  monsters creatures Matt has particularly benefited from the birth of our daughter.

Last night I witnessed Sunshine’s first panic attack. Matt has been at work all week. The last time I physically saw him was on Monday. This means that my mean as a snake sweet little girl has been on edge. Matt handles the last hour of the night. He’s in charge of dinner clean up, “zert” ( dessert with Sunny), bath and story time with both kids. Last night while I was handling bath time there was an epic meltdown of tears. Sunny just kept repeating I want my Da-deeeeeeee. I couldn’t yell at her, I couldn’t control her, I couldn’t stop her- so I hugged her. I told her that Daddy misses her too and that he would be home later. She cried in her bed, asked me not to read a book, and instead she chose to wait for book time until her Daddy got home. She fell asleep before he made it home hours later, but he dutifully went to her room and read her 5 Little Monkeys anyway.

I will not flatter myself and pretend to be her favorite parent. The truth is if I was gone for 5 days in a row she would miss me, but I doubt there would be a panic attack. I’m grateful that I married the right person. I know he’s the right one for a million reasons- but mostly because my daughter reminds me of how amazing he is on a daily basis. I told her last night that I miss daddy too, but I see him in her face and her need to have a routine and perfection in every moment. They are soul mates- he doesn’t do well without her either.

It’s amazing he got through the first 36 years of life without his Gracie Girl. She can’t get through a day without her Da-Deeeeeeeeeee.

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